Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
too bad you live with your parents still
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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