can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
