i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
