i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
