Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
