What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
