its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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