dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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