Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We smell like vodka and hangover
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