I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
