we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
