I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
