Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
