I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
pop tarts are not kleenex
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
