I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
