found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
