saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
