Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
