i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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