I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
