my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
