GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
