Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
