And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
