I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
