i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
