She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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