Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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