i just had sex bonerless
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
