I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
