I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
