I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
