I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
