R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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