Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
