You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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