did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
