I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
