Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
