I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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