she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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