nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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