i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
