found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we're making bets on your personal life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
