It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
