Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
wow bdsm is so cute
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
