my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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