She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
