He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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