Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm getting married
To pizza
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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