morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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