Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this beer tastes like vomit already
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
