Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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