You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
