dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
