Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
